6 signs you’re addicted to porn

In a survey conducted by FS magazine about 20% of gay and bisexual men said they have a problem with porn. Many of these men said that porn is affecting their social and sex lives. They also told FS their porn habits are interfering with work. So we decided to knock up a list of signs you should look out for to see whether porn is becoming a hard habit to break.

1 - YOU’RE ANTISOCIAL

One clear sign that you might be addicted to porn is when you’d much rather sit in front of your iPad masturbating away than meet up with your friends for a night out at the local gay club. Yes, it’s totally fine for that to happen every now and again but if this becomes the norm you may want to look at whether porn is taking over your life.

2 - YOU KEEP YOUR PORN WATCHING A SECRET

Who talks to their friends about the type of porn they watch? Probably some people do but the majority don’t. But when it comes to your partner, talking about the type of porn you watch should be normal, after all watching porn together should be a normal event. However, if you are hiding the type of porn you watch or feel shameful about it then you might want to consider if porn is having a negative effect on you.

3 - YOU LOSE TRACK OF TIME

In our FS porn survey the majority of gay men told us they typically watch porn for about 15 to 30 minutes. If your porn sessions turn from 30 minute wank-a-thons to over three hours we think it’s time to ask yourself if porn is consuming your life.

4 - IT’S INTERFERING WITH YOUR SEX LIFE

If you’d much rather watch porn on a Friday night than be intimate with your boyfriend/partner/husband/random hook-up, then again this is a sign that porn is affecting your sex life.

But it’s not always the case. Low self-esteem can have the same effect. So where you might think you have a porn addiction, it could be something to do with your mental health.

5 - YOU EXPECT YOUR SEX-LIFE TO BE JUST LIKE A PORN FILM

Everyone has some sort of fantasy in their head. Most of us use porn to ‘live out’ the fantasy. However, in the gay world with easy access to saunas, darkrooms, hook-up apps, the chances of living out your fantasy increases.

One of the signs porn may be affecting you is if you’d much rather attend a group situation than be intimate one-on-one, if you can’t get turned on by your boyfriend but you’d much rather head to the local darkroom with him.

If your sex life is changing to match the porn you watch you may want to think about whether this is affecting you negatively.

6 - YOU’RE WATCHING HARDER/UNUSUAL PORN

Most of the men who told FS they had a problem with porn reported that the type of porn they watch has gotten harder or is not the usual type of porn. If you are finding yourself not getting turned on by mainstream porn, it maybe a case that porn is affecting your sex drive. Seeking out porn that most gay men would find unusual is a sign of this.

ARE YOU ADDICTED?

A diagnosis of porn addiction by a professional is often dependent on several key factors. To determine whether porn addiction treatment is necessary, you may be asked to consider which of the following statements are true for your situation:

  • You feel powerless to resist the urge to view porn.
  • You frequently spend more time or money on porn than you initially intended.
  • You’ve tried without success to limit or stop viewing porn.
  • You spend a significant portion of your time viewing porn, thinking about porn or engaging in activities that will enable you to access porn.
  • You neglect family, social or work obligations to view porn.
  • You continue to use porn despite negative consequences.
  • The more often you engage in using or viewing porn, the more you need to increase the risk so that you can gain the same satisfaction or thrill.
  • You’ve passed up opportunities, or have considered passing up opportunities, so that you have more time to use or view porn.
  • You become anxious, stressed or irritable if you are unable to access porn.

If you answered yes to one or more of the above statements, professional treatment for porn addiction may be helpful for you.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is often used to treat addiction. For more information, visit www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous follows a 12-step model similar to that of Alcoholics Anonymous. To find a meeting in your area, visitwww.slaauk.org.

Sex Addicts Anonymous in the UK runs local support groups where people can help each other recover from sex and porn addiction. For more information, visit www.saauk.info.