Life Sexuality What is asexuality? Asexuality is a term used to describe people who experience little to no sexual attraction. Asexuality is a term used to describe people who experience little to no sexual attraction. It can be used as an identity itself as well as an umbrella term for anyone who identifies along the asexual spectrum (more on that later!). Asexuality is often shortened to ‘ace,’ with asexual people calling themselves ‘aces.’ Aces probably represent around 1% of the population. The opposite of asexuality is allosexuality, which describes regularly experiencing sexual attraction, regardless of sexual orientation. The spectrum Asexuality is a spectrum, with some folks not experiencing any sexual attraction, to some people identifying somewhere between allosexual and asexual (graysexuality, gray-ace, or gray-a), and some people only experiencing sexual attraction after they have formed a strong emotional bond with someone (demisexuality). Myths and misconceptions Some common myths and misconceptions about asexuality. Asexuality = celibacy Celibacy is the decision to abstain from sex. Asexuality isn’t a choice and some asexual people (especially if they’re gray-a or demisexual) choose to have sex. Asexuality is a phase ‘You just haven’t found the right person.’ ‘You’ll grow out of it.’ These are phrases aces hear a lot and they’re super invalidating, dismissive, and damaging. While sometimes identities change over the course of a person’s life, being ace still isn’t a ‘phase.’ Ace people don’t have relationships Love doesn’t have to equal sex! Plenty of ace people still experience romantic attraction (more on that here) and have fulfilling, healthy romantic relationships. Ace people are broken or have some kind of disorder. Asexuality does not mean you’re broken, defective, or have a disorder. Just because you don’t experience sexual attraction the same way others do doesn’t mean you’re somehow broken. It’s completely valid to be asexual and you’re not alone! Relationships, self-acceptance, and being ace Once again, you can be ace and have wonderful relationships. Many ace people still have romantic relationships, just without the sex. And that’s totally valid! Here's an ace person talking about self-acceptance and romantic relationships and some cool asexual media representation. And a video of some ace folks talking about their journeys to self-acceptance and a bit about their relationships: What next? Resources The Asexual Visibilty & Education Network (AVEN) has tons of resources on asexuality as well as forums where you can find support! Stonewall has a great article on how to be an ally for asexual people. The Trevor Project also has an info page on asexuality. Sounds Fake But Okay is ‘a podcast where an aromantic asexual girl and a demisexual-straight girl talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that they just don't understand.' GLAAD has a cool guide to finding your ace community. And there’s an awesome Glamour article by the lovely Yasmin Benoit talking about asexuality and aromanticism. Support Switchboard has an LGBT+ helpline. So does LGBT Foundation. The LGBT HERO forums are a great place to get support. So are the AVEN forums.