What to do while waiting for chemsex support

Sometimes waiting for chemsex support can feel like a long time. Whether it’s waiting for 121 support, counselling, therapy, addiction services or spaces to open up for support groups, it can be easy to give up, feel overwhelmed or get frustrated. 

However, there are things you can do while you wait for the help and support you need that can help you feel safer, secure and continue to move to the space you want to be in.  

Something to remember while you wait  

While you’re waiting for support to begin, it can help to remember that the goal isn’t to get everything right or fully in control straight away, but to focus on small steps that reduce harm, keep you as steady as possible, and help you stay connected until the support you need becomes available.  

This might look like: 

  • Reducing risks when you can
  • Getting ready for the support when it starts
  • Trying to break any cycles that can cause you harm
  • Taking small steps and going at your own pace
  • Being aware of your urges and triggers 

Can I take more control of my urges and triggers?  

Managing urges and triggers while you’re waiting for chemsex support can feel overwhelming or frustrating, but there are practical steps you can take right now to stay safer and feel a bit more in control. 

You could ask yourself: 

  • When do my urges usually happen? Is it a particular time of day? is it after work? Is it at the weekend? 
  • What are my triggers? Is it hook-up apps? Messages from partners? Booze? When I get paid? 
  • How do I feel right now? Do I feel lonely? Bored? Super horny? Can these things make me want to use? 

There might be a few practical things you can try or things that have worked for you before, that can interrupt thoughts, triggers and urgers around drugs and chemsex, allowing you to take better control. 

Consider things like:  

  • Setting a 20-minute timer, this can help the feeling of an urge to pass 
  • Having a long shower, watching an episode on tv or a listening to a podcast, calling or texting a friend, going outside for a walk to the shops, changing location, may change your current mind set or thinking
  • Deleting or temporarily hiding apps that are linked to chemsex will take away any urges or triggers
  • Switching off porn related content will reduce the urges and triggers to have chemsex
  • Muting or blocking contacts, even temporarily, that strongly trigger you or that are involved with the chemsex scene 

Doing some of the above things that work for you, while you wait for chemsex support might help you regain a little bit more control and help you understand some of your triggers before you start support. 

How can I get ready for support to start? 

Sometimes waiting for support to begin can feel uncertain or frustrating, but you don’t need to “get better” beforehand, but there are some small things you can do now to feel more prepared and get more out of the support when it starts. 

Here are some things you can prepare for: 

  • Try writing a brief timeline of your chemsex patterns. When did it start? How has it progressed? What does your chemsex life look like now? Make a list of what you’d like help with e.g. reducing use, sexual health, mental health, anxiety, loneliness etc.
  • Note down anything that’s helped before. Whether that’s talking to friends, taking breaks from using etc.
  • Think about what change might realistically look like for you. Keep it simple and short. 

What can I expect when chemsex support starts? 

Starting chemsex support can feel uncertain, especially if you’re not sure what it will be like. Support is usually led by you and your needs, at your own pace, and there’s no pressure to have everything figured out before you begin.  

It may include: 

  • Talking through your chems use
  • Looking at your triggers
  • Exploring what feels difficult right now
  • Thinking through what change might look like for you
  • Finding practical ways to stay safer and more in control 

You can read our section on the different types of LGBTQ+ chemsex support available here [LINK] 

When should I seek urgent help? 

Sometimes things can feel like they’re escalating quickly or becoming overwhelming, and in those moments it’s important to get urgent support. You don’t have to handle it alone. 

You should seek urgent support if: 

  • You feel unable to stay safe
  • You experience severe physical symptoms after taking drugs
  • You feel at risk of harming yourself or others
  • You are unable to stop using in a way that is putting you in immediate danger
  • You are experiencing suicidal thoughts and have suicide plans in place 

In the UK, urgent options include NHS urgent care, A&E, or crisis mental health services. 

Visit our suicide prevention hub and chemsex directory [LINK] 

There are different types of support available, and sometimes waiting times are longer than expected. Sometimes just having clear, practical information can help in the meantime. 

The Chemsex Support Hub is here to support you in rebuilding your wellbeing, relationships, and sense of self beyond chemsex. The hub offers non-judgemental help, information and advice to help you move forward at your own pace.  [LINK] 

 

Published:

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Author: Liam Murphy

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