Domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships too. Just because it’s two men or two women doesn’t mean someone is allowed to hit you or emotionally abuse you. No-one, whether gay, lesbian, bi, trans or straight, should be in an abusive relationship. 

There are some things you can do to help you reduce the risk from your abusive partner (or ex-partner). It is important to prepare in advance for times when you may be in danger or are being physically or verbally abused:

  • Keep a record of dates and times of all incidents. If you have been injured, get medical attention from Accident and Emergency (A & E) or your GP and they will make notes of your injuries.
  • Keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times – in case you need to make emergency calls.
  • Tell a friend or family member about what’s been happening.
  • Keep your passport and copies of important documents in a safe place in case you need to get away quickly.
  • Think about telling your employer about your situation.
  • Always report the violence or criminal damage to the police.

DO NOT RETALIATE - It's not safe

Always try to avoid retaliating as it may escalate things and you might get seriously hurt. Think about how you can leave the situation when you recognise that the abuser may become violent to you. 

If you retaliate and the police are called it may be that they see you as the abuser and you could be arrested and charged, particularly if your partner has any injuries caused by your retaliation. 

LGBTQ+ victims of domestic violence often say that they are reluctant to involve the police; either because they don’t want the abuser getting in trouble or because the police will not believe them or take action. Most police stations have an LGBTQ+ liaison officer trained to offer you the best support possible.


Galop is London’s LGBT anti-violence and abuse charity. 

Galop gives advice and support to people who have experienced biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexual violence or domestic abuse. 

If you are affected by Simon’s story then please get in contact either by calling 020 7704 2040 or visit

Men’s Advice line – a helpline for men who suffer from domestic violence and abuse. Call 0808 801 0327 – free from landlines and from mobiles using the O2, Orange, T Mobile, Three (3), EE, Virgin, and Vodafone networks) or email [email protected]